Is it natural to be scared of giving birth?

First of all, this wasn't a planned pregnancy but nonetheless, has turned out to be pretty exciting. Family is all there for me, huge contributions;cloths,books,knowledge,ect. Though, I have to admit, I am pretty scared about the actual giving birth. 6 months now and the time is rolling in quickly. I have done much research on the vaginal vs. cesarean. Many women say they would rather have a c-section including my mother. Taking into consideration, my baby may be a big boy, I may opt for the c-section. Now, I also understand that once you have a c-section that will be the way of delivery for your next child because the uterus was weakened by the first operation. Does this mean no more children for me? I am already a little insecure about my future weight. Will I drop it quickly? How hard will it be? If c-section, how big of a scar? So many questions.

I do know that an estimated 25% of births occur through c-section nationally.There are multiple layers that your surgeon must go through before reaching the baby. All in all from the start of surgery, until the birth of your baby is about 5-10 minutes. Not so bad, considering I put my mother through 24 hours of labor before the Dr. decided I would be delivered c-section.God Bless her! The baby is then disengaged from your pelvis, usually head down, with a brief moment of pressure on your end. Your baby first head, then shoulders, and out with the body will be suctioned for any fluids still attached. During vaginal delivery the fluids will be expelled but the baby needs the help with a c-section. You see him/her for a brief moment and then they are swifted away to a warmer by the nurse.The scar won't be so obvious if your doc uses dermabound rather than staples. Then you are only dealing with an even line rather than the zipper look. That doesn't sound so bad. Some women like the "natural" birth and would rather the vaginal delivery but that doesn't seem to be my cup of tea.

I suppose I still have a good 2 months to think about this. I will definitely weigh out my options and hear what everyone has to say about their own experiences. Please feel free to comment with your own. I must take everything into consideration.

Someday,you will never know this

I remember that exact moment that I felt something in me was very different. It wasn't the pain that I was constantly having from my ovarian cyst, it was something else. The pain was completely gone. After months of excruciating pain, it was gone. There was something else though, maybe a woman's intuition, but I knew there was something that I was completely unprepared for. Later that day, the test revealed that I was right and that you were coming whether I was ready or not. Never had I planned for you nor did I ever want children. Now came the hard part, would I not tell anyone but my boyfriend and abort you or would I explore my options. Finances told me option one. I felt I had no choice. Though, I waited to tell anyone except my boyfriend, and completely procrastinated on the termination. I went for months without telling a soul. Walking around in baggy sweatshirts and staying home from friends and family. Once that I came close to the deadline(22 weeks) for abortions in the state of New York(24 weeks), I knew it had to be done and right around my birthday,nonetheless. I went for it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Three attempts to abort you and every time ended with me in complete hysterics. You were meant to come into this world and it is for a reason. You have made me grow into someone that I should have been years ago. I am maturing. Feeling you,in my stomach, is so surreal. Could I really take care of you? Every week that passes, I am more and more excited. How could this 1 pound 5 ounce being impact my life so greatly? You, my unborn, are something special. Someday, you will never know this. You will never know this story. I love you.